Looking back it's amazing to see how things have changed in the past year. I'll never forget seeing that positive pregnancy test and feeling shocked, scared and totally empty. I remember curling up in bed while Mark worked a night shift and willing myself not to cry. It wasn't that I didn't want kids, that was always the dream. It's just that I didn't think we were ready. Now can't be the right time, I told myself. And the tears spilled down my face and I felt like a terrible mother.
I tried my best to be brave and accept it and be excited, but I was terrified. It wasn't until a little over a week later that my feelings changed. I was bleeding and cramping and felt like I could be losing this life inside me before I'd even had a chance to love it. And, there, sitting in a hospital gown in the ER, I realized how desperately I wanted and needed this tiny baby. I held my breath while they prepped for my ultrasound and it seemed like time stopped when I saw that tiny flickering heartbeat. 
Looking at that now, I can't believe that's the same boy I'm currently cradling in my arms. And looking at it back then, there's no way I could have anticipated the love and joy that tiny speck has brought to my life. I can't imagine how I ever lived without him and he is truly the best thing I've done in my entire life.
Dominic is back asleep now. I'm stealing a few extra snuggles before I lay him back in his bed and I'm thanking God for blessing me with this amazing boy. 
